My Heart Cracked Open

The other day, I had my heart cracked open, in the best way.

It felt so remarkable and hit me in such a profound way that I knew I needed to process a bit to deepen into the experience a bit more and really feel the huge impact it had on me in an embodied way.

I was talking on the phone with my sweet friend Debbie, who I met earlier this year in New Zealand. We were talking about another trip we are taking together next February, and she asked if I had started preparing in any way for that trip.

I quickly, and somewhat self-disparagingly, said no...

I was thinking of the fact that I haven't yet read any books on the destination or studied any maps or read about the history of the country, or any of these types of left brain, intellectual practices that I think I'm supposed to do when I travel to a new destination.

I felt the self-judgment just below the surface.

We moved on from that question, talking instead about what we are up to currently.

In that part of our conversation, I shared with her that I was embarking on a year-long embodied sacred feminine course with a dear friend and colleague. This course will include an embodied spiritual connection with the energy of one of the goddesses of a temple we will be visiting in our journey together next year. (No, at this point I still hadn't made the connection fully...)

I told her how I have been doing personal ceremonies focused on some of this goddess’ energy and some of the impacts that had on my life.

And a few other things...

There was a slight pause and she said to me: "Oh, so you HAVE been preparing for our trip next year…"

I was dumbstruck!

It had literally not occurred to me at all that this was or could be considered preparation for this upcoming journey, even though it will be a very spiritual journey.

These are all things I do from a deep soul calling and that literally don't even feel like work to me, they are just part of my heart’s longing. So how could they be THAT valuable or seen as actual preparation; (or some similar story I must have been telling myself subconsciously)

I realized how easy it is for me to fall into the trap of only valuing the intellectual and left-brain processes and practices of 'preparation', and de-emphasizing or devaluing the spiritual, emotional and embodied preparation that one can also undertake. Or not even realizing what I was doing was preparation for a bigger journey.

Doh!

STILL... After all these years of embodied work, training, practice, and professional experiences, I still forget to value it (embodiment practices) at a deeper scale, especially within myself.

As I took in her words of reflection to me, I felt a wave of emotion rise up within me and then I started to weep.

I felt seen in a way that I had not been able to see myself.

To say it was powerful is truly an understatement. My heart was cracked open at the power of being seen to truly and so deeply. This is the best kind of heart cracking open I know.

I have spoken at length about the practice of 'deep listening' and how potent it is to truly hear someone and then to reflect back that you’ve heard them.

And in that moment, she gave me the medicine that I know we all crave so deeply.

It took me several minutes to compose myself enough to fully express my gratitude and love for her in that moment and the gift that she gave me.

I'm writing about and sharing this so I can continue to take it in more deeply, to expand the feelings of love that burst forth from me in that moment, and also to honor and acknowledge this beautiful human that I get to call a friend in this lifetime.

And I’m also sharing to remind us all of the beautiful power of truly listening to someone.

Thank you, Debbie. I love you so much.