I AM the pot of Gold; and so are YOU!
If you’ve been following my work and reading my newsletters this year, (ah 2022!) you know that I’ve been through a dark time this year; a few dark times really. From living the past nearly two years without a home of my own (and better understanding some of the impacts & challenges of housing uncertainty/insecurity); to sitting in a ceremony space this spring facing one of the darkest moments of my spiritual life; to going through Covid this past summer, which was an exceptionally and surprisingly dark experience emotionally. Despite many beautiful moments in my life recently, I have learned more about the inner world experience of darkness in the past year than any other year of my life; with the added layer of having a higher level of awareness than ever before as well.
So where has this left me now?
Surprisingly, I find myself having landed in one of the most beautiful places of my life. And I mean inner places, not where I’m currently living. The place deep within me where I feel like I have found the inner divine light that can hold it all with love. I have come to see ALL the parts of me and experiences in life that want to show up – and hold them with true love and LOADS of self-compassion. I have felt a peace that went beyond any understanding of this word I have ever known. When I was able to hold all extremes of darkness and light, joy and sorrow, laughter and tears, it expanded a capacity in me for love that I have never known was possible.
It simply arrived in my body and being one day like the most unexpected visitor, the one I had been waiting for my whole life.
After a recent ceremony for a friend’s birthday, I was chatting with a person who had been there with us and he made a reference to my Irish heritage and that I had the luck of the Irish. To which I asked him, “Great! Does this mean I’m going to find my pot of gold?!?”. His response to me was: “You ARE the pot of gold!”
And in a flash, just like that, it hit me. It landed so deeply for me that I was almost speechless in a state of mild shock. That’s it!
We so often go seeking outside of us for that which will make us feel truly whole. The outside spiritual experience, or the connection with another that feels so powerful, or divine inspiration that feels like it comes from somewhere else - that ‘ah-ha’! moment.
When really the truth of it is – it’s ALL within us! Available to us at any time, once we have cultivated the capacity to understand it at all layers of our being, to really know the truth of it.
It’s about truly loving whatever arises from within that gives us the capacity to expand our hearts and love like there’s no tomorrow. To have the deeply spiritual experiences that seekers long for and to feel the peace that passes understanding… well let me tell you, that’s an inside job.
What comes first is the love for everything we are. All the messy bits, the past mistakes, the parts we wish weren’t true and the things we wish didn’t happen, as well as all the juicy parts that are easy to love. When we can hold all of these with love and compassion we can experience, perhaps for the first time, what true self-love feels like. That’s what it was like for me – a sort of homecoming I never imagined nor knew was possible.
And this peace IS available to you. You don’t have to do anything to earn this peace, to do good works in order to deserve it, or heal all the wounds of your ancestral lineage to receive it. It’s available to you just as you are.
We all have layers of trauma and wounding that might be covering up your experience of this truth and sense of inner peace, and so there maybe be some effort involved in moving through these to clear false beliefs and the energy they hold. And what is left is gold, trust me. 😊
If you would like support in clearing the layers or beliefs or energy of the wounds of the past to get to this place of peace, please reach out to schedule a session. It’s tough to do this work alone, without the reflection and support of a trusted guide who can hold space for what comes up. I would be honored to support you in that way.
Here’s a poem by Kahlil Gibran that feels resonant: https://poets.org/poem/joy-and-sorrow