Loving What Is
I’ve recently learned the root of the word heal. From Old English hælan was to "cure; to make whole, sound and well," and from Proto-Germanic hailjan, literally translates as "to make whole". This struck me so strongly when I read it as it is remarkably aligned with how I work with clients and guides my work at a most fundamental level. And it has been the foundation of my own spiritual path especially in the past few years.
My work as a healer has evolved over the years (and it’s only in the past couple of years that I even call myself a healer, which is a topic for a different blog post…). This evolution has sometimes been guided by my own personal development, sometimes by topics I was diving into as professional study, and always guided by my heart and desire to help others (and all beings and the planet as a whole).
Through my own arc of learning and spiritual deepening, I have seen more and more the tremendous healing potential in the practice of turning towards whatever arises in life with tenderness, love, and a deep sense of compassion. In fact, this premise and my experience with these practices are guiding my upcoming retreat – “Loving What Is”. When we can witness something that causes us suffering with curiosity, rather than chagrin, we can see what most needs tending within us. And every (damn) time, when we pay rapt and loving attention to this thing - be it rage, grief, envy, joy, heartache etc. – we get to know a part of ourselves more deeply.
When we can meet every part of ourselves with curious compassion and open to loving this part fully, we become more whole. Period. This, to me, is what integration looks like; what wholeness feels like; what true self-love is about.
The saying by Aldous Huxley, ‘we can only love what we know…’ means to me that we need to understand the aspects of ourselves that are presenting themselves (in the form of emotions, strong reactions, fears and more) to love them. And translated further, we need to know these parts of our human experience to love ourselves truly and fully, which in turn if we go further still, is the path to fully love another. (Of course, one could point out that there ultimately is no ‘other’… but that’s also a topic for another blog post.)
And here’s the poignant beauty of it… when we can do this for ourselves, we are poised to be able to do this for others. To lovingly accept and honor any part of a person that is showing up in a given moment, no matter how it appears to come across. To hold their own beauty and wholeness. That feels like what unconditional love might be.
The truth of it is, the real, cosmic-level healing takes place not just when we can lovingly tend to all parts of ourselves, but also when we can see all beings as parts of the greater Self. When another person is suffering, so am I, even if I don’t know it at a cognitive level or can’t see it fully. This can feel so intangible and esoteric until we bring in a personal example to illustrate the truth of it.
Simple, yet not easy.
Yet it’s where the real gold and magic lie. The wholeness I have felt at a physical, energetic, emotional, and spiritual level since going through this process over and over the past couple of years has been profound. This contemplation has been my go-to inquiry in this current time of darkness, which I am embracing this year like never before in my life. Whenever I’m suffering, I ask myself ‘what needs tending right now?’ How can I become even more whole? Can I see even more deeply that whenever a person is annoying me, (‘causing’ me suffering), it’s the perfect time to look within and see which part of me needs love.
It sounds so cliché, yet honestly the world does need more love. And I can be an agent of love in the world when I can truly love all the parts of me – because as we know: as within, so without; as without, so within.
What part of you needs some extra love today? I’d love to hear your story of loving yourself more deeply.
And if you’d like to hear a personal example of mine, please contact me and I’d be happy to share with you my deeper, more personal writing on this topic.
If you’d like to explore more about this topic, please join me for an online retreat including yoga, meditation, guided energy work, journaling, contemplation and more. We meet in January. You can learn more and register here - https://www.kathleendowd.com/offerings/retreats
Anyone who registers before the end of the year also receives a free guided grounding and releasing meditation from me, yours to keep. AND the first 11 people to register receive a complimentary 30-minute integration session with me.